THE FAMOUS "BAT SIGNAL"

FLASHES OVER

WILLOWBROOK

                               

                                                                    DEPUTY CLAUDE ANDERSON

 

     I NOTICED ONE OF MY OLD RADIO CAR PARTNERS HAS SIGNED IN THE GUESTBOOK.... VICTOR KRETSINGER. HERE IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTNERS OF ALL TIME.  WHEN HE WAS ASSIGNED TO ME AS A TRAINEE, THE LT. TOLD ME THAT I WAS GOING TO BE IN FOR AN EXPERIENCE, AS VICTOR BRINGS NEW MEANING TO THE WORD "HYPER" AND THAT PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP WILL BE PROVIDED BY THE COUNTY IF I NEEDED IT.    GREAT!  NOW WHAT?

     VICTOR HAD THE ABILITY TO COME UP WITH ANY DIALECT YOU CAN IMAGINE.   HE COULD PASS HIMSELF OFF AS A BERLIN POLICE OFFICER WITH YEARS PATROLING THE AUTO BON OR TELL OF HIS EXPLOITS AS A PUERTO RICO HIGHWAY PATROLMAN.   NEITHER I NOR THE PATROL SGT'S WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WOULD COME UP WITH NEXT.

HE HAD THE UNCANNY ABILITY TO SPOT BURGLARIES EITHER IN PROGRESS OR JUST BEFORE THE ATTEMPT WAS MADE.  ONE MONTH WE LED THE ENTIRE STATION IN FELONY OBS. THANKS TO HIM ALONE.  I TOLD THE BRASS, I WAS THE ONLY TRAINING OFFICER WHO HAD A TRAINEE AS A TRAINING OFFICER!

     DURING THE TIME WHEN "BATMAN & ROBIN" FIRST HIT THE TV. VICTOR DECIDED THAT WE WOULD BECOME "BATMAN & ROBIN”, VICTOR COULD IMITATE PERFECTLY THAT HIGH PITCHED, WHINING, WIMPERING, SUCKING UP TO, VOICE OF ROBIN.    NATURALLY I TRIED TO IMITATE THE FLAT BOARING, UNDERSTATEMENT MONOTONE OF BATMAN.... COMPLETE WITH  "YOGI BERRA" TYPE SAYINGS.  SUCH AS... "WHEN YOU STEAL, YOU'RE TAKING THINGS THAT DON'T BELONG TO YOU” OR  "WHEN YOU DRIVE INTOXICATED YOU'RE NOT SOBER” OR  "A CRIMINAL IS A SICK PERSON AND SICKNESS MAKES ME ILL"  (ENOUGH OF THIS)

     VICTOR HAD A RUBBER PLASTIC TYPE DEVICE HE WOULD SLIP OVER THE RIGHT SPOTLIGHT ON THE RADIO CAR...WHEN THE LIGHT WAS TURNED ON...WOW!   THE BAT SIGNAL WAS PRODUCED ON WALLS, BUILDINGS & DRUNK DRIVERS.

ONE EVENING WHILE WORKING CAR 15, IT WAS STILL LIGHT AND I WAS DRIVING SLOWLY DOWN AN ALLEY WHEN VIC SEE'S SOME MOVEMENT NEAR A FENCE.  WE CAN'T MAKE IT OUT, BUT IT LOOKED LIKE SOME TYPE OF ANIMAL PERHAPS CAUGHT IN THE FENCE.

WE FOUND TWO LITTLE BOYS LYING ON THEIR STOMACHS WITH THEIR LITTLE BUTTS IN THE AIR TRYING TO PULL A BICYCLE UNDER THE FENCE.   THEY MIGHT JUST AS WELL TRIED TO PULL A 16 WHEELER THROUGH AS THE HOLE WAS ONLY ABOUT A FOOT WIDE.

THEY TURN AROUND AND SEE US AND THE FIRST BOY SAYS THE FAMOUS WORDS "OH OH!"

WHEN ASKED WHAT THEY WERE DOING THE SECOND BOY TRIES OUT, EXCUSE #1,  "WHAT BIKE?   I'M JUST WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL!"   NATURALLY A GOOD DEPUTY HAS TO EXAMINE ALIBIS AND THIS HAD TWO FLAWS.... WHO MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT A BIKE & TODAY WAS A SATURDAY!

BOY NUMBER 1 TRIES EXCUSE #2…THAT HE, "FOUND" THIS BIKE AND WAS GOING TO TAKE IT HOME AND TRY TO FIND THE OWNER.   THIS EXCUSE ALSO SEEMED FLIMSY AS THE BIKE SEEMS TO BE ALREADY HOME. THEN VICTOR COMES OUT WITH THAT INFAMOUS ROBIN VOICE AND SAYS "GOLLY GEE WHIZ BATMAN.... IT LOOKS LIKE WE CAPTURED THE BICYCLE MISCREANTS.  LOOKS LIKE A LONG STAY IN THE CALABOOSE" (MY STUPID PART) NO ROBIN, OUR DUTY IS NOT TO PUNISH…THATS UP TO THE JUDGE  IN GOTHAM CITY...OUR JOB IS SIMPLE APPREHENSION AS ......"EVIL IS A VERY BAD THING!"

THESE TWO LITTLE GUYS (BROTHERS 7 & 8 YEARS OLD) NOW GOT VERY EXCITED ASKING IF WE WERE REALLY BATMAN & ROBIN.... VICTOR EXPLAINED THAT WHEN WE ARE NOT IN COSTUME WE PATROL THIS AREA WITHOUT OUR MASKS. NOW BOTH BOYS CAN'T TALK FAST ENOUGH (NOBODY LIES TO BATMAN & ROBIN) THEY TELL US NAMES AND POINT OUT LOCATIONS WHERE STOLEN BIKES, RADIOS TV’S ETC   ARE STASHED IN A GARAGE.  VIC’S NOTEBOOK GETS A WORK OUT.

WE DROVE OUR "ALMOST BICYCLE THEIVES" TO THE LOCAL ICE CREAM PARLOR WHERE WE BOUGHT EACH A THREE SCOOP CONE...THEN HOME TO GRANDMOTHER.

     WHEN WE PULLED UP AT GRANDMOTHERS HOUSE SHE WAS SITTING ON THE FRONT PORCH.   VIC GOT OUT TO TALK TO HER FIRST AND I KEPT THE TWO LITTLE GUYS IN THE CAR.

SHE ASKED VIC WHAT THOSE TWO LITTLE FOOLS DID NOW? VIC TOLD HER THE WHOLE STORY AND SHE HAD TEARS IN HER EYES LAUGHLING.  SHE WAS A FINE LADY TRYING TO RAISE TWO BOYS WHILE THEIR MOTHER WORKED ODD HOURS AS A WAITRESS.  GRANDMA WENT ALONG WITH THE ENTIRE STORY AND COULD'NT BELIEVE THE SIZE OF THOSE ICE CREAM CONES THE BOYS HAD.  SHE MADE SURE THEY THANKED "BATMAN & ROBIN" AND THEY PROMISED TO "BE A GOOD CITIZENS OF GOTHAM CITY"

AFTER WE PULLED AWAY, IT WAS OUR TURN TO LAUGH.  PERHAPS WE HELPED A LITTLE?  IT'S CERTAINALLY NOT STUFF YOU SEE ON TV, BUT IT'S POLICE WORK NOBODY NOTICES, BUT THE SATISFACTION IS OURS ALONE.

     THE NEXT DAY WE LEARNED OUR JUVENILE DETECTIVES LOADED UP A PICKUP TRUCK WITH RECOVERED ITEMS, PLUS THOSE NAMED.

     THE NEXT NIGHT VIC & I PASSED A GROUP OF TEENAGE GIRLS AND THEY ALL WAVED "HI BATMAN & ROBIN” NOW HOW DID THE WORD GET OUT SO FAST?    MUST HAVE SEEN VIC'S BAT SIGNAL?

FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS I UNDERSTAND OUR UNITS IN THAT AREA NEVER TOOK ANOTHER STOLEN BIKE REPORT!